Dear running, I love you.

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The news of my brother’s death came to me on Sunday afternoon. Easter Sunday. My wedding anniversary. That last thing doesn’t hold much weight this year. Anywho.

Beach on Monday. Today is Friday. I am glued to the couch. My body feels completely weighted down. I didn’t go to sleep until almost 4 o’clock this morning. I ate half a box of Froot Loops. I feel like someone has reached in to me and pulled out my heart and my guts. Alcohol is not an option. So yeah… Just pretty much sitting with feelings of extreme uncomfortabibility. My head hurts. it just sucks. Knowing that there will never be another football season ever again that I can give my brother a hard time about Nick Saban just makes me die inside. Never will see another voicemail from him fucked up or elated with life –  makes me sick.

So, my outlet is to run. Until my heart and eyes burn and my legs weaken and I have to stop to release the tears…privately, but not, on some desolate road where i can be alone with my feelings. Joe told me once that tears were the Holy Spirit cleansing me from the inside out. I’ll take that. 

My dad with my brother who died in May from a cycling accident, my brother Joe, and my two sisters – I was not on the scene yet 🙂

 
My sweet beautiful brother having a good day💟

   
This it is important to me because I have been quiet my whole life when it comes to my feelings.

 
I will keep going. It’s what God wants. Joe would want this too. And I want to keep going for myself. I am more determined than ever to run and recover.

  

About southernrunningmom

Contact me like this: Via FaceBook - Mary Broussard, Certified Health Coach (feel free to private message me) or e-mail me - southernholistichealth@gmail.com. I am also on Twitter - MaryBob143. Instagram - Southern Running Mom...peace out. I keep my original profile details up because...well, that was my truth back then. Today, I'm much different. And busy. So, I'll update the About Me section very soon. Meanwhile, my tags would be: recovery, AA, 12 Steps, honesty, abuse, recognizing narcissism. Any who, thanks for reading this far. Mom with great husband & family...I totally love running, cooking, gardening...

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