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I met with my sponsor this morning planning to start going through the steps again. I packed my big book, and notebook… I stopped and got us a couple of big coffees at Starbucks. When I got to her house, we exchanged hugs as usual. As we began to talk, she told me she relapsed. In working through my own recovery program, I realize there is nothing I can say or do that would make her stop. It has to run its course. She is devastated and full of fear. We talked a lot, openly and honestly. After I left, I started thinking about what I was feeling about all this. My first thought was to put it all aside and go work out and continue with my day. But I’m not. I decided to sit with my feelings because they are painful. I prayed for her, for her safety, that she will quickly returned to her recovery program. I cried. I wondered if my feelings were out of place. And it just came to me… She is the first person I have trusted completely in years. And working through the steps with me, she knows everything about me and loves me anyway. So I understand now why I feel this way. My relationship with her has been very important. I have trusted her. This is not an easy thing for me to do. So, I am getting to a meeting at noon – my home group – and I think today I might actually share. My own recovery has been life-changing and is extremely important to me. I will get another sponsor. I already know who I intend to ask. And it feels almost adult like to experience this with my sponsor, and not get sucked into the darkness. I am able to see the situation for what it is, feel what I need to feel, and still take care of myself. That feels really good.

About southernrunningmom

Contact me like this: Via FaceBook - Mary Broussard, Certified Health Coach (feel free to private message me) or e-mail me - southernholistichealth@gmail.com. I am also on Twitter - MaryBob143. Instagram - Southern Running Mom...peace out. I keep my original profile details up because...well, that was my truth back then. Today, I'm much different. And busy. So, I'll update the About Me section very soon. Meanwhile, my tags would be: recovery, AA, 12 Steps, honesty, abuse, recognizing narcissism. Any who, thanks for reading this far. Mom with great husband & family...I totally love running, cooking, gardening...

2 responses »

  1. I’ll right away grasp your rss as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription link
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    Thanks.

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