I got up bright and early to go help get my daughters to school on time. Right at 7 o’clock I received a message that my 10th graders school was canceled because of the bad weather coming. She was really happy she didn’t have to get up at all and she was actually intending on missing the day anyway because she didn’t feel well. The guy in this picture greeted me with the fact that he had to call 911 at 10:30 last night because he thought he was having a heart attack. He was still standing there and I didn’t get a phone call last night so I thought that was a good thing then there’s the whole attack thing about why I don’t look like I care that he had to call 911. Are we separating like isn’t this part of the whole problem? It has been A bit of an emotional roller coaster today with him cereal
texting me along with the incessant phone calls so I don’t have to miss out on the actual verbal abuse about how pathetic I am for not helping him more.i’m sorry… I know there are grammatical errors and spacing errors in this. I am actually dictating it. I am pretty emotionally exhausted. I also saw my counselor yesterday whose most important advice for me was to trust my instincts. When dealing with a narcissist not getting sucked back into the world full of his life requires a lot of emotional strength. Which is why I’m sure I came home and fell so deeply asleep until the phone rang… Guess who? Yep. Why can’t you just stay here when I feel bad?
On a better note I prayed a rosary and then had a killer leg workout along with my shakeology. I am considering going to an Al-Anon meeting tonight. Considering is the keyword because I feel very much like isolating which is usually a clue for me that I need a meeting.
So I pretty much feel like throwing up because of my nerves. I am tempted to future trip, but I don’t want to. I am sober and I actually feel extremely strong in my sobriety. That feels really good.
So there we have day two of the seemingly somewhat difficult separation. Trust trust trust. God help me.