Efff’d up


This was a few weeks back…just didn’t post it till today…

I’m tired. I am dictating this post. Long story short… All hell broke loose on Sunday. If I were a camel my back would be broken. I have been at my apartment since. I have been sober for 19 months and counting. I have worked diligently, open-mindedly, and wholeheartedly on my issues. I have thrown myself at the the feet of God and begged for mercy and guidance and strength. I have willingly sat in every mental health professional’s office that my husband has invited me to. They all say the same thing at some point. My daughters and I are all emotionally abused. It is insidious, mind-boggling, and hard to wrap my mind around sometimes. He doesn’t see it that way at all, of course. Even this week, hearing what a pathetic excuse of a human being I am, he turns around and begs me to fight for our family to stay together. What the fuck is up with that? Well I know the answer. It’s just more sickness. It is a little scary, a little unnerving, and I am not sure how all this will shake out in the end. I can say that I have enjoyed a lot more peace lately… That being this week. The phD today begged us to please retreat into our own corners and let everything settle down.  I am completely 100% down with that plan.  I have been since Sunday and it didn’t take me paying $175 to figure this out. Part of interacting with someone who is emotionally abusive is a mind game where the person receiving the emotional abuse starts to feel a little wobbly, mentally, and even questions if she may actually be the problem after all.

Tomorrow morning, I will get up early, pray and meditate, drink coffee, take a shower, drive my daughter to the bus stop, and go to work and rock babies all morning until noon time.

About southernrunningmom

Contact me like this: Via FaceBook - Mary Broussard, Certified Health Coach (feel free to private message me) or e-mail me - southernholistichealth@gmail.com. I am also on Twitter - MaryBob143. Instagram - Southern Running Mom...peace out. I keep my original profile details up because...well, that was my truth back then. Today, I'm much different. And busy. So, I'll update the About Me section very soon. Meanwhile, my tags would be: recovery, AA, 12 Steps, honesty, abuse, recognizing narcissism. Any who, thanks for reading this far. Mom with great husband & family...I totally love running, cooking, gardening...

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