I’ve mentioned it before – Anatomy of Peace – the book recommended by our interventionist and by a counselor in Utah. I ordered and received it in early May. I started reading it. It was deep. Like, too deep for me to concentrate on and get what I knew I needed from it. So, I bought the $20 audiobook on ITunes. That was great. It helped a lot. I fell asleep listening to it. I woke up with nightmares. On two separate nights. sigh. Well, whaddyagonnado? Still, I loved it and knew it was for me. Oh, I tried in my codependent way to wave the book around and tout it’s unbelievable ability to change people. (Insert before period, “who were WILLING to change.”:) Anywho. So, also being ADD, I continually tried getting through the book, however I could: reading, listening, reading AND listening like I did as a child – following along…don’t judge. Then I misplaced the dang book. I felt lost. And afraid. LOL. Not afraid, that just seemed funny. But I did feel lost without out, because I wanted to finish it. I am a visual learner and I needed that book in my hand. I pondered. Okay, I’ll spend the $15.00 (shipping included) again and get the book again. I finished the book! With a mighty powerful crying jag on a Saturday morning that prompted my husband to hold my hand and look at me like I had two heads, yet with an air of sympathy. Sigh. You know the look, right? The book is transforming. Being in touch with ADD, I knew there were places in the book I missed, so I continued to listen to it on my Iphone while I ran, skipping backwards & forwards to the different chapters that I felt I needed to hear/re-hear. My Iphone bugged out. Best Buy gave me a new one. I went out for a run. Queuing up “Anatomy”…and it’s not there. Wait, what? It was gone. It was in ITuenes cyberspace. DRAG. Well, I reasoned with myself, I’m good, right? I read it and listened to it. Come on Red Hot Chili Peppers, we are going for a run! That lasted several days. Like, a week. And last night, I attempted to sort through cyberspace to find my beloved book and I couldn’t find it. Nor could I find the justification to spend yet another $20 on the Itunes audiobook. I went to sleep. I think there was a minuscule amount of steam coming from my ears. 🙂 Okay, God, I said, if I wake up in the morning and I feel like You want me to order this book again, I’m just gonna do it. No questions asked. You know my heart, right? I woke up. Thinking.about.The.Anatomy.of.Peace. $20. Again. The best money I have ever spent on a book. I just ran 5.21 miles listening to my beloved book, feeling my insides soothed & smoothed by the words spoken, assuring myself that I am a creation of God and all is good with that. Knowing that what we can control is ourselves. Knowing that we are in control of our own happiness. Knowing we can’t make people read, think, pray, eat, do, anything. But we can work on ourselves. And that’s what God wants, I think, is to see us make the most of the lives He has given us. When we take care of our own selves – our mind, spirits, and bodies, the sky is the limit for us to do His work. That’s what I wanna do. His work. His will.
I feel much better now. Thank you. 🙂