A term my fellow Capricorn hair dresser coined – I’m not a hair dresser – just wanna clear that up. But he gets me – that need to every once in awhile just be alone…today was crazy. The culmination of crappy craziness – the washing machine broke on Saturday. Dear sweet handy guy kept thinking he could fix it. Hubs ended up orchestrating removal of stinky laundry to back of his very big vehicle. After a quick lunch with my sister to celebrate her bday, we spent the rest of the day at Michaels Laundromat in sweet Younsville, LA. 3 extra capacity washers + 5 regular = $50 in quarters. It began pouring rain as we were leaving. The cherry on my day, thus far, has been getting into the vehicle and the battery was dead. After getting the Asian guy who owns a nearby store to jump me, we were finally headed home. We all anticipated the clean, woodsy smell that was sure to be waiting for us, since I had just plunked down $100 for a new housekeeper. We got home. Well, she heard me instruct her to clean all 5 bathrooms. And wipe down the stairs. And, that’s all folks! R.u.kidding.me.
I’m going to al Anon meetings. They are great. I will do whAt we do there & only talk about me. I quit drinking. Just over 3 weeks ago. While I didn’t have a physical dependence, I do believe I had some psychological dependence. I mean, who doesn’t love beer & nachos or beer & tacos? Or beer by the pool? Or wine with a gourmet burger? Yes, please.
So I have quit. I’m glad. If I can get thru today without a drink, I will feel successful. Seriously. The little, pissy things just got to me today.
I’m doing EVERYTHING I have been instructed to do. Read “the anatomy of peace”. Okay. I ordered the audio book because it’s hard for me to concentrate on such a heavy topic with ADD. I ordered the book too. I lost the book, 3/4 of the way thru. I reordered a second copy because I need it.
Life, since my son’s struggles, have felt like a marathon – difficult at times, downright nuts at others, and pretty focused at others. So, I’m here. I’m changing. I want the life I deserve, the life God wants me to have.
I surrender to Him – repeatedly – when I encounter roadblocks in my life – at those moments of surrender, I tell Him, “I didn’t know I was causing this.” Or I didn’t know I was hanging onto things – emotionally – He hears me, as always, picks me up, sets me right, and lets me know I’m headed in the right direction.
I am a work in progress.