Saturday night thoughts

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I’m not sure where the self-doubt comes from…if I have to choose, I’d say knowing what running fast in these temperatures at my age is like. It’s hard. Who likes sucking wind – warm, soupy, heavy wind – 20 minutes into a run? Jeff galloway – 3 2-mile fast intervals – I could hit my paces on a treadmill but I keep trying to keep it real and do it outside. So I wait all day – after soccer, after grocery shopping, after the LSU game – I go out at the break of dusk. I warm up for 400M. I start with 800M & hit my mark. I turn the corner to my new favorite running spot. Ring-fricking-ring. Huh? Hello? Where’s the nozzle I bought you for the front porch plants? (WHAT?) I haven’t seen it. But I bought it and I saw you use it before. Conversation ENDS and I start running again. I start saying eff-you to the emptiness around me, sincerely pissed off that I can’t get THAT little bit of time to myself to try to do something important to me. F-you. F-you, f-you!!!! Aaaaahhhh! Run. Run. Ring-fricking-ring. Hello??? Mom, guess what? I really want a Ginny-pig. And I want to take moder-in dance. I think that’s my thing. I’m not a hip-hop girl, you know? Hey, can we FaceTime right now? I wanna show you something. Oh and do you know where my iPad is? Baby…um…we’ll look at dance. No on the Ginny-pig. Not sure about the iPad. I’m running. We’ll FaceTime when I get back. (7th grader is at a sleepover…) k’bye. Love u, bye. Run. F-it. I couldn’t hit my paces or even get my whole head in the game, but I did get 6 miles. That was good. And after my shower, I did FaceTime & see my beautiful girl’s happy face, the Ginny pigs at her friends house, the friends split while standing (ow, dude), and a few gymnastic moves…

Mass tomorrow. My son is here. Almost went out again tonight & I played the mom card. I miss you. I love you. I just want to have time with you. Okay, mom, I’ll stay home. Yesss. My baby is home. I made the sign of the cross on his sweet forehead & chatted him up. Blueberry cobbler & turkey bacon in the morning. And Mass.

Lord, Jesus, forgive my ugly words. I am a sinner. I’m not where I should be, but thank You, Jesus, I’m not where I used to be…peace y’all…

About southernrunningmom

Contact me like this: Via FaceBook - Mary Broussard, Certified Health Coach (feel free to private message me) or e-mail me - southernholistichealth@gmail.com. I am also on Twitter - MaryBob143. Instagram - Southern Running Mom...peace out. I keep my original profile details up because...well, that was my truth back then. Today, I'm much different. And busy. So, I'll update the About Me section very soon. Meanwhile, my tags would be: recovery, AA, 12 Steps, honesty, abuse, recognizing narcissism. Any who, thanks for reading this far. Mom with great husband & family...I totally love running, cooking, gardening...

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