Monthly Archives: September 2013

Saturday night thoughts

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I’m not sure where the self-doubt comes from…if I have to choose, I’d say knowing what running fast in these temperatures at my age is like. It’s hard. Who likes sucking wind – warm, soupy, heavy wind – 20 minutes into a run? Jeff galloway – 3 2-mile fast intervals – I could hit my paces on a treadmill but I keep trying to keep it real and do it outside. So I wait all day – after soccer, after grocery shopping, after the LSU game – I go out at the break of dusk. I warm up for 400M. I start with 800M & hit my mark. I turn the corner to my new favorite running spot. Ring-fricking-ring. Huh? Hello? Where’s the nozzle I bought you for the front porch plants? (WHAT?) I haven’t seen it. But I bought it and I saw you use it before. Conversation ENDS and I start running again. I start saying eff-you to the emptiness around me, sincerely pissed off that I can’t get THAT little bit of time to myself to try to do something important to me. F-you. F-you, f-you!!!! Aaaaahhhh! Run. Run. Ring-fricking-ring. Hello??? Mom, guess what? I really want a Ginny-pig. And I want to take moder-in dance. I think that’s my thing. I’m not a hip-hop girl, you know? Hey, can we FaceTime right now? I wanna show you something. Oh and do you know where my iPad is? Baby…um…we’ll look at dance. No on the Ginny-pig. Not sure about the iPad. I’m running. We’ll FaceTime when I get back. (7th grader is at a sleepover…) k’bye. Love u, bye. Run. F-it. I couldn’t hit my paces or even get my whole head in the game, but I did get 6 miles. That was good. And after my shower, I did FaceTime & see my beautiful girl’s happy face, the Ginny pigs at her friends house, the friends split while standing (ow, dude), and a few gymnastic moves…

Mass tomorrow. My son is here. Almost went out again tonight & I played the mom card. I miss you. I love you. I just want to have time with you. Okay, mom, I’ll stay home. Yesss. My baby is home. I made the sign of the cross on his sweet forehead & chatted him up. Blueberry cobbler & turkey bacon in the morning. And Mass.

Lord, Jesus, forgive my ugly words. I am a sinner. I’m not where I should be, but thank You, Jesus, I’m not where I used to be…peace y’all…

Stuff.

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Sitting at soccer practice with over $25000 worth of cochlear implants in my pockets….it’s raining pretty heavily & if you know soccer, then you know that they practice as long as there is no lightning. So, my daughters are out there, practicing with the best of them all the while completely deaf…they do, however, read lips beautifully. (A little something God built into them…and all people born deaf from what I understand. What I don’t understand is how can a deaf person read lips if he never heard? With cochlear implants or hearing aids…hm)

Anywho. That’s what’s up.

Me and Jeff Galloway seem to be at a pretty happy place in our relationship :). I was, quite frankly, thinking of leaving him for someone else. Hal perhaps? Idk it’s all so complicated. Jeff really wants things that I’m not totally convinced I can give him. Like walk breaks. I liked them
In the glaring South Louisiana summer, but not so much anymore. Last week, I decided to give Jeff a chance. I followed his plan, his way, for 99 percent of the week. I liked it. I got my 17 done on Saturday morning. I took Sunday off & did speed work this morning. Nailed it. I was on the treadmill, but i was cruising & I have the splits to prove it!

So, I’m gonna hang with Jeff. For now. The book/plan I’m using is the one he wrote for people who want to qualify for Boston. I’m following the 3:50 plan. I am hesitant to jump ship from this plan because I really haven’t found any plans specifically designed for BQ’ing…

I will say this – Jeff pushes the mileage up past my comfort zone at some point – 29 miles? Really, Jeff? And why do you do this? That week is coming up, but it isn’t this week. I’ll mull it over. I’ll talk to hubs. He, although no longer a runner, always has pretty sage advice when I need it.

Today, for example, I told him we needed to stop by the fabric store so I could find something to recover our dining room chairs with. (Yes, I ended my sentence with a preposition :). His retort? In so many words, he said, screw it, let’s just get new chairs; I never did like those chairs. Sweet! Saves me from having to break out my upholstery stapler! Plus, we found some super sweet chairs that I quickly fell in love with. We’ll see…

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running smooth. thank You, Jesus.

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I did “hills” yesterday. on the tm. in the clubhouse. with hubs. with daughter. not with. but with. i think i finished at almost 1300 vertical feet. i do my own program. i warm up. i alternate the speed and incline. i like to push the limits. 15% incline is the max. then, i lower the incline to so that i can actually run on the incline for awhile. and do you know what makes it feel like you are descending a hill? a HUGE hill? well, after you’ve climbed for ahile, lower the incline to zero. pump up the speed to 8.3 miles per hour. WWWHHHHAAATT? it’s a blast, i kid you not. my quads were so happy to be at zero & the speed was fun and dare i say, easy, at that point. this morning, i have that much sought-after achiness that affirms, yes, we did hills yesterday!!!!

oh, and my baby toe on my left foot is indeed still broken. not a running injury. i was preparing hubs smoothie in my VERY LOUD NINJA blender. i did the logical thing while it whirred away his blueberries & spinach. i tried to do a handstand against my fridge. but i didn’t have enough velocity the first time, trying to throw my feet up. i gave myself a little running start & BAM! i was gonna NAIL it! you should know that i am doing a september push-up challenge & that morning, i had already done 45 push-ups. so, i didn’t account for being a little tender & weak ;\ across my shoulders. so, i definitely got my feet up and then my left arm decided it had enough & I crumbled into a heap on my kitchen floor, but not before slamming the almighty hell out of my left foot on the granite counter top. i scurried up & over to the still-pounding blender & hubs was OBLIVIOUS to me the WHOLE time! He had his back to me reading the paper. heehee. so, when i saw him again later & he noticed my limp, i told him what happened. he said, “wait, i was in the kitchen when you made my smoothie.” “yeah, well, I was too embarrassed to tell you what happened.” Oh, Lord.

Anywho, so, yeah, a broken toe that only hurts when i touch it. but it hasn’t stopped me from running. i’m still doing the push-up challenge. today is a rest day. yesterday i did 75. tomorrow will be 80.

gotta run. i won’t be doing anymore mary lou retton moves in my kitchen. at least not till october!!!

one liner…kind of

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the weirdest thing that happened to me today was trying to sneak in a nap while waiting in the car at sylvan & waking myself up 30 minutes later, mouth facing car roof, and snoring like there’s no tomorrow. most unexpected moment was having a great impromptu meal with hubs, sharing food we both wanted to eat (i run, i eat weird) and feeling absolutely no pressure to run this evening. i’m just tired. i think we’re gonna watch columbo & enjoy the evening! happy. peace.

Where is the compassion?

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I asked repeatedly during my daughter’s 5th grade school year…where is the compassion? I asked everyone: my husband, the teachers whose classes she struggled in, the administration, God, Jesus, Mary…I never lost faith; I was slightly angry at times; I knew my Father was with me. But I didn’t know where the compassion was – a child, born deaf, thriving and then wasn’t thriving. Then I grasped onto “go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated.” Then today, unexpectedly during a telephone conversation I was having with someone – I mentioned a concern and bam! I found the compassion that I knew was there, but I had buried my hopes for witnessing it…the person I talked to renewed my faith in that situation that I just described…I told her speaking to her was a breath if fresh air. She assured me that ALL the girls under her watch were extremely valued and celebrated. Anyway, it was just so amazing to feel salve on something that I left behind in God’s hands so long ago.

Then, I looked down at my antique Miraculous Medal and quickly revisited the hours upon hours I went to Mary, as my own Mother, crying, begging and pleading the same question, “Where is the compassion?” and simply feeling turned inside out with emotions, trying to make things right for my child…

…the way She does…the way He does…the Way…the Way.

It isn’t easy, the Way, but boy, it is so rewarding when we continually trust, continually surrender, continually fall on our knees even with rage in our hearts…THEY get it. And They don’t mind. They still love us. They realize why we do the things we do, especially for the sake of a child.

So, today, I received unexpected validation that yes, I was not alone in my disbelief of how a child could be cast aside. It was a beautiful blessing and I immediately thanked our Heavenly Family.

Peace out, y’all…

I had a nice almost 5 mile run, with 2 of those miles close to marathon pace. Felt great. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Mary…

After midnight…

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1:30. A to the m y’all. I’m awake. Re-listening to podcasts…after midnight…we gonna let it all hang out…after midnight, after midnight…after midnight, we gonna drink, jump and shout…I think that’s how it goes…regardless, there is no drinking, jumping or shouting I’m happy to report…just me putting distance between myself and my snoring–I mean slumbering 😉 hubs. I dislike this time because I know I’ll be tired tomorrow. Whaddyagonnado???

I miss summer. I feel slightly sad that summer was covered in a grey veil of death. That’s just life. We can’t choose a good time to die. And our family had amazing moments and real life lessons that only come with death. Sigh.

So. I decided to skip the Cajun man tri and do my 15 mile run. I told hubs. He was down. Thursday rolled around – hubs let me know we needed to bday shop for his daughter on Friday evening. Soccer game Saturday morn @ 8:30. New Orleans after that. We stayed in a beautiful apartment on esplanade that I found while on the drive & while watching the Madness of King George on the tv in the car! This place was off the hook! 1600 sq ft of yummy wood floors, plantation shutters everywhere….and reasonably priced…so, when does this run happen?! Anywho, hubs arranged for carriage to pick us up for dinner & we all went to the Rib Room at the Omni on Royal Street. Divine. Hubs & daughter danced in the street in the Quarter afterwards to the tunes of a super-talented violinist. Very divine! Next day – beignets, Mass at the St. louis Cathedral, lunch at Company Burger, and I drove us home while hubs slept 🙂

Home. Late afternoon. I jumped into my running gear & ran outside in the heat. Then it poured, I ran home for a hat. Took off again. Lightning struck close enough that everything glowed peachy blue. Home!!! Treadmill! 7 miles in, the dang electricity went off and the rain had already stopped! Huh?! I grumbled my way through the living room & headed out a-gain! I finished my 15 miles & felt pretty darn good – lots of unexpected goodness (and calories) over the weekend, but crossing through that 15 miler was sweet!!!! Sweet as those hot/crispy/ powdered sugar covered beignets in one of my favorite cities ever!!!

Goodnight, y’all…

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God willing, I added a couple of pictures from the 15 miler – things sure are beautiful after a storm…and the church is the St. Louis Cathedral in New Orleans, where we attended Mass on Sunday morning…

Good mornin’, y’all!!!:)))

Late evening state of – uh – the union

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Just saying. I love my life. I absolutely do. But sometimes…sometimes…things just do me funny. We are all decompressing after last week. Given. Littlest daughter wants to sleep in my son’s room who is at college. Why? I think because her cousin slept in her room. A guy cousin. Guy cousin cooties won’t be gone for a couple of weeks. Her truth. Sigh. Littlest daughter is completely deaf without her implants. Did I mention she has ADD? Did I mention my son’s room is RIGHT ABOVE MY HEAD???? And it’s 10:30??!! So I go up to check. Make eye contact. Give her the mean face, then the nice face, kiss her goodnight & go to sleep! All of us! I go up. Shower is running. Lights are all on. She is in her room – completely away from shower – wrapped in robe, a very bad mascara application smeared down her face. Sigh. Mean face. Nice face. Kiss. Sigh. 🙂