i have had so many blog entries go through my head over the last couple of weeks, usually while i’m running…on the few occasions i run alone. i usually have at least one daughter accompany me, which is great. doesn’t really let me get to the “eye of the tiger,” but i know one day, these days of sweet, bicycling, furrowed-browed questions will be over, so i embrace each one as best i can. which brings me to another kid.
my son. my beautiful son, who i can never get enough of. i guess i’ve always been that way with him because my time with him was always divided, sadly, thanks to divorce. i still find myself trying to absorb his sweet spirit when he is in for a visit. he is one of a kind. he is growing up no matter what i say about it. he is really a pensive person, i find, especially since he is leaving his teen years behind. he has always been such a good friend to his friends. i think he is experiencing a dose of adult-hood, and i think it’s a bit of a bitter reality. i tried to talk to him about it – there really is no way to prepare a young person for how cold our world generally is. i did, however, share my own enlightenment about finding out that harsh fact. so, i think he is coming to terms with what “real life” is like and is doing his best to be true to himeself in spite of it.
a praying parent is a powerful weapon in the defense of a child facing the world. i have consecrated my own children and family to God, to Mary, to Jesus, to name a few. Heavenly relationships are real, thank Heaven… 🙂
i just see such a difference between the young man who used to come downstairs in his school uniform, tired, hungry, and ready to go to school. he still had a look of innocence in his face…a look of someone who had a loving parent to look after him. that’d be me. now, when he comes home, his look is rougher, more tired. he battles allergies.
it’s a struggle. as mom, am i ever supposed to stop reminding him to wear a jacket, keep his chest covered, change his sheets, change his air conditioning filter, take a multi-vitamin “at LEAST” … among other things? “Jesus is always with you and so is your guardian angel. everything you do, you are doing in front of them.” okay, yes, i say that. i care about his salvation. i want him to care about his salvation. i know that things of this world fall away. they are cheap and temporary. i know that God’s Kingdom is everlasting. i wanna be there. i want my family to be there. it isn’t guaranteed. Heaven is real. Hell is real. we have a choice where we end up. i would never steer my children or family in a way that would take them any place else other than God. i know what i know. sin costs. a LOT. i know young people have to make their own mistakes. hopefully lessons will be learned. i knew what a praying mom i had. i just didn’t know that i was entitled to that same beautiful love from God. i just always figured me and my brothers and sisters were so bad, our mom had earned some kind of earthly sainthood, something way beyond my comprehension. i wish she would have told me i could have had the same loving relationship with God. especially since my own dad died when i was 8. boy, would information like that have saved me a lot of bad choices…maybe i would not have listened…but maybe i would have. either way, at least i would have had the information that, hey, God will take you right now just like you are, sinful & all. he loves you and can fill ANY void in your life. try Him. if you don’t like Him, the devil will always take you back. true dat…sigh…
on a different note…training is going pretty swell. home school is going well. my daughter is taking a chapter test in math which is why i am typing feverishly away trying to get a blog entry…tomorrow is the cajun cup 10K…love that race. great 6.2 mile workout. great weather. father/daughter dance tonight. gearing up for thanksgiving…planning on what i am going to cook…i like to hear what my children’s favorites are from year to year…so far this year we have a request for mashed potatoes. yum. definitely. and of course, something chocolate…like an eclair dessert, i think…we’ll see…it’s a good thing i run 🙂