long week…

Standard

really long week and it’s just monday.  just stuff.  good stuff.  bad stuff.  unbelievable stuff.  stuff.  as i type, my beautiful son who i am craving time with is at his grandmother’s.  that’s a good thing.  she’s amazing.  i miss her.  but i miss my son.  he’s finished with his first year of college & i just want time with him.

as in a marathon, i continue to put one foot in front of the other.  even when the going gets tough.  i’m not alone, for sure, but sometimes, the lonliness for the simple things – a movie with my son or lunch, or an impromptu swim or bike ride with the kids – all of them preferably – well, that just seems so far away as finals, and in the case of this year, graduation, heats up.  i took the girls to the bus stop this morning & then came home and fell back asleep.  i didn’t get a good night’s sleep at all and that’s pretty rare for me.  i intended to swim for :30 this morning, but lasted :11.  my heart wasn’t in it.  i know that feeling and i don’t get it often.  i back off when it creeps up.

so, here i sit – hat-headed for no good reason.  i kept hoping i’d get a workout in.  had chickfila with hubs for lunch.  NOT my usual.  no workout – NOT my usual – just put the day into a tizzy.  a downspiral, dietarily, really – i had two fiber one chocolate things – 90 calories each.  a microwaved bowl of udon noodles.  which, to my delight, were delish.  i poured milk into the inch-layer of chocolate ice cream that was left by some unsuspecting soul – and made a very tiny chocolate milkshake.  i just went to hell in a handbasket today, i guess.

but the main feeling is just tiredness – wanting the school year to be over.  wanting to feel like i CAN swim a mile before riding for 56 and running for 13.  wondering how it’s all gonna happen – educating my children the way they need AND training for a sure to kick my butt race.  and WHICH race?  not open water as in the ocean…no,  not now.  but a nice body of water somewhere in texas?  yeah, i can see it.  alligator free?  yes!  i’ll take it!  i guess that’s my mental vacation when i need it…knowing i can work toward a goal…there i said it, a GOAL…despite what is happening around me.

i won’t yuck-out today, because it is certainly a gift – hubs and i went to the mall and even went plant shopping.  he even came to the makeup counter with me and bought my chanel foundation 🙂

i just feel these loose ends – my son – flying away behind me, and i have every intention to grab them and re-secure them.

i’m probably not making much sense right now…

i am also considering keeping baby girl home tomorrow so i can help her prepare for finals…my calls for help go unanswered…a momma’s gotta do what a momma’s gotta do…which, clearly means, i probably won’t get a workout in again.

which makes me believe even more strongly in the fact that i seriously NEED the Tour de France bike  trainer, generation 2. i think there are 6 easy payments.  🙂  i can do that.

so, not amazing, sweat reports today.  much to my dismay.

Oh, Lord, please increase my faith.  He will, ya know…

About southernrunningmom

Contact me like this: Via FaceBook - Mary Broussard, Certified Health Coach (feel free to private message me) or e-mail me - southernholistichealth@gmail.com. I am also on Twitter - MaryBob143. Instagram - Southern Running Mom...peace out. I keep my original profile details up because...well, that was my truth back then. Today, I'm much different. And busy. So, I'll update the About Me section very soon. Meanwhile, my tags would be: recovery, AA, 12 Steps, honesty, abuse, recognizing narcissism. Any who, thanks for reading this far. Mom with great husband & family...I totally love running, cooking, gardening...

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