i don’t make it up; i just process it in my coconut & write it. i am, after all, a mother, and i guess i process things differently. this is a heavy-hearted one…
as mom to lots of wonderful children, being mom to children who have exceptionalites is different. it just is. we try to help them fit in with their peers as much as humanly (and divinely, through prayer) possible. when i was in 5th and 6th grade, i had strong friendships with girls my age. we were at each other’s houses regularly, passed notes between classes, and just always had each other’s backs. you get it. as mom to my 2 youngest, who have cochlear implants, it is different for them. they have good friends at school, but not like what i had. in my heart of hearts, i believe it is simply harder for them to communicate effectively as 5th and 6th grade girls do, in social situations. in school, with some accommodations, they do great. but with friends…not so much. as their mom, i try my best to always take the time to LISTEN to them. that means no phone in hand, etc. – really pay attention to what they say because i see that they are lacking that with girls at school. it is really rare for them to be invited to parties or sleepovers. it wasn’t always that way, but as girls grow up and form those bonds, it is natural for them to have small groups, etc….my girls don’t really fit in in that regard.
i live with these kiddos day in and day out. i know that background noise affects what they hear from me – running water, forget it. they really have to focus to listen. i believe that because of this, they probably come across to their friends as…well…not tuned in, i guess. i know it must be hard for them to hear all the good stuff that should be heard during lunch or at break. i think the difficulty they experience may come across as aloofness or just some sort of disconnect…their peers probably don’t know how to take it and for Heaven’s sake, they are kids with lots to say. i think my girls just kind of, through no fault of anyone, get skipped over, in social situations.
this week – the middle school girls have been taking the bus to musical practice – tuesday, wednesday…”mom, everytime i ask one of my friends if i can sit with her, she says no – i already said i would sit with ___________” whomever. she is so sweet, and continually asks to be part, but, alas, she ended up sitting with the chunky, pimply-faced girl that, from what i hear, definitely doesn’t fit in. to avoid that on day 2, she went through the gammut of asking to sit with her favorite friends, and was told the same thing again. so, she sat in the single seat to avoid being stuck with chunky. it just hurts this mom’s heart. i can’t make the world perfect or kind for them, but knowing there my daughters and their amazing qualities…well, i’m sorry that at this point in their lives, their peers are missing out on them. don’t get me wrong – they LOVE their school and would go to college there if they could! i know what i know because of the conversations we have. i absorb their hurts and, of course, bring them to God and ask for His help.
then, to make matters worse, not only are they backstage crew, but their jobs are to hand the props to the prop-handlers who place them onstage…in other words, i am sure amidst all the chaos that naturally goes along with this type production, my girls are unable to clearly hear what is going on to a degree that they are not involved in much at all.
i have told my 6th grader on multiple occasions, ‘if i was in your grade, we would be best friends!’ or ‘i would invite you to every party!’ my 5th grader is a little more outgoing and socially, i think she does better.
as i said, i filter things through a mom’s heart. i bring everything before God. i know He makes a way, even when, in the world’s eyes, it seems small.
my 6th grader is often the first one in the car in the morning to remind us to say our morning prayers. she is kind and considerate way beyond her years. my 5th grader is ever-thankful for her family and lets me know regularly…often, i receive texts from her that read, “I love you, momma!!!! Have a great day today! I am grateful to have you for a mom! You are healthy and awesome!” this is followed by rows and rows of hearts, flowers, kiss-blowing smilie faces, etc.
they are amazing. they amaze me. they keep me focused. they will do great things. they already are. i just wish pre-puberty wasn’t so daunting…
peace. give it up, y’all. tell Him thank you. He loves you right where you are AT THIS MOMENT! He wants to bless you!!!! the reading this morning was one of my favorites – you know the one about us humans being wicked would not give a stone to our children who ask for food. think of what our Heavenly Father will do for us!!!! He loves us so much!!! don’t miss out on your blessings!!! just ask!!!!