dude. this title has changed so many times in my mind over the last week. edge of darkness was in the running for a day or so. wtf? was the front-runner for awhile.
but here i am sunday evening, listening to my favorite-ever-sounds – family – savoy brown blaring thanks to the remote in hubs hands – bless his heart, he loves him some savoy brown 🙂 and his bday is tomorrow. which is why my hands smell like garlic – he asked for prime rib & scalloped potatoes 🙂 my sweet son from college just let for Mass. Thank You God.
so. running. yeah. i’ve missed two long runs and you know i don’t have to tell you what i know to be true about long runs. i signed up for my favorite local half marathon. this part sucks. the reason i didn’t do it was because running is not important to hubs. lemme back up – house – CRI-zaZY lately – like for the past two weeks. our Christmas tree has lights & garlands. no ornaments. i don’t have many presents wrapped.
i started thinking today about what really got me running. hubs & i got married. traditional roles. great. all are in agreement. i continued going to my favorite health club. didn’t sit well with hubs. fine. hurt, but fine. i’d manage. got my workout room going at the house. worked out better, really. squats in slippers & jammy bottoms? count me friggin in, dude. but i liked being outside. girls came along and it was a natural progression for me to take them out in a stroller. double stroller. bike trailer, you name it. i rollerbladed & pushed them along. i was honoring my hubs wishes by not wiling away time in the health club. believe me, i don’t wile. ever. so, my life has grown in a great, positive, resourceful way. i don’t need a health club; i just need the road outside my front door.
fast forward – we’ve been married almost 15 years. i still care what he thinks and i still want his approval. whatever. i know. but i do. more than that, i want God’s approval. i surrender to the Holy Spirit ever single day. for the most part, i do pray without ceasing. i’m not perfect. i don’t try to be. but i do try to bend toward God’s will each and every day. so, for me to bow out of a race because hubs doesn’t think it is a worthy expenditure of time…well, that falls under the category of too damn bad, folks. it was important to me. that’s why it was so hard to let it go. it was like high school all over again. i hated that feeling, knowing i chose something based on someone – a peer at that. the hell with that. now i’m thinking the Holy Spirit designed that to teach me a lesson. well, lesson learned! my resolution that is starting right now? i’m going to continue to race & do the best with my God-given ability, no matter what anyone says.
God help us all 🙂