aaahhh. day is turning out much better than i had hoped. thought i’d get a run in. angry ankle blister keeps getting bumped & further irritated – rollerblading almost 4 miles with my daughter on saturday – fun & costly, evidently! guess i won’t wear my husband’s socks again when i rollerblade! my right shin still held a slight grudge after the vibram cross-country run yesterday. sheesh….get over it. so, i had a cruddy running start. plan b. got on treadmill with my mother’s day gift – a 20 pound weighted vest – my daughter so GETS me. I walked for :20 & then walked & ran another :20. not good enough. just moved on to other obligations. kitchens don’t clean themselves, i am sad to report. got a lot of house stuff done. had a smoothie at lunch – vegan rice protein powder, banana, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, a drizzle of honey, ice, water, and a healthy tablespoon of flaxseed. now that was energizing. i grabbed my hand weights & had a nice 2.8 very basic loop that i needed. so much better.
on the treadmill, i cried. yes, i was a mess this morning. i cried because i was happy at the thought of my son in the bahamas, doing what his classmates were all doing, having fun, celebrating victory over high school! knowing what a fight that child has fought for years, academically, and knowing he never complained; he just got it done. such the way he is in so many areas of life. i love that.
i cried because i knew i had actually done a good job with him. i knew what he needed and i made sure he got it. sounds easy. not so easy. i didn’t have an example. my mom dropped the ball with me. i didn’t have prom, i didn’t look at colleges, i didn’t think about college. i quit high school in my junior year and got my equivalency diploma sooner than my classmates. i really missed out. as a mom, i knew better. God granted me the grace and wisdom to hang in there with my son even when the going got tough. and it got tough. really tough. we never took our eyes off the goal. i was determined to help that child experience what i knew i should have experienced. i knew better. i listened to God. i didn’t want to turn my life over to Him in word only. i craved Him and wanted to do His Will because i knew, somehow, that His way was better. He outgives me EVERY time. He outgraces me EVERY time. He out-loves me EVERY time. i submit to Him every day. He is our Living God and He is right THERE. through all the good, bad, indifferent, He knows. and thank You, God, cuz He can handle it. He rocks my world EVERY day. for someone looking in, that might seem questionable, but when you have this kind of relationship with Him, that’s what it is like.
gotta go grab dinner ingredients for tonight…peace, y’all.