when

Standard

i want to wake up without feeling that there is a hole where my stomach and heart should be. i’m tired of crying and feeling on the verge of crying.  i thought i was done with tears.  if you knew this school…it’s just amazing.  i’ve always said you can always spot a Sacred Heart girl…i believe that.  there is something in the education there that just includes so much more than books.  i need to get past this.  i wonder what it will be like when they start their new school.  i am actually ready for it so that we can resume some sort of routine and i’m thinking the change will take my mind off it.  i’m definitely praying a lot more these days for God’s will.  He knows best and He’ll get us through this…i guess what i’m feeling is that HE didn’t bring us to this, my hubby did ;[ and that makes it harder because i love him so very much and know he’s trying to do what’s best, but in my heart, i don’t think this is it.  so now what?  i took my daughters to their new school yesterday afternoon for a sports physical.  i knew lots of people there; it’s a popular school.  still, there was this mother lion part of me that observed lots of stares at my girls…was it there beauty?  was it their unfamiliar-ness?  was it their implants?  was it their voice quality?  was it something people couldn’t put their fingers on?  yuck.  i don’t like the way i’m feeling.  i have a list as long as a sheet of paper with things to do so i think i’ll focus on that.  Lord, i’m here.  Help us.  Peace.

*******************************************************************

p.s.  okay.  update.  i did a 5k on tm and averaged 8:15 per mile.  super-sweet.  love that.  NEEDed that.  even took the plunge after my endorphin lift and called our dear friend/head of girls’ school.  left her a message.  but i could have talked to her without dying.  even made plans for next week with another wonderful ASH mom & her daughters to take our kiddos swimming.  okay, and the biggest?  i just broke down and ordered uniforms.  God put it in my heart and helped me make sense of it – if we can spend a ton of money getting the girls ready at the “wrong” school, can’t i spend some money getting them ready properly for the “right” school???  yes, i see Your point.  wow.  now my prayer mantra is asking God to make sure we are ALL in the place where He wants us.  i believe when we are so close to God, working on our relationship with Him everyday, He really takes care of us.  so.  what i thought was going to be an awful day has had some nice, light & bright spots.  i’m even considering what to do with my front porch full of fried plants…perhaps getting all those lovely pots ready for some new plants, yes? new soil.  new foliage.  sounds like a plan.  for the plants and us.  peace.

About southernrunningmom

Contact me like this: Via FaceBook - Mary Broussard, Certified Health Coach (feel free to private message me) or e-mail me - southernholistichealth@gmail.com. I am also on Twitter - MaryBob143. Instagram - Southern Running Mom...peace out. I keep my original profile details up because...well, that was my truth back then. Today, I'm much different. And busy. So, I'll update the About Me section very soon. Meanwhile, my tags would be: recovery, AA, 12 Steps, honesty, abuse, recognizing narcissism. Any who, thanks for reading this far. Mom with great husband & family...I totally love running, cooking, gardening...

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s