90 ° Partly Cloudy
- Feels Like 104°
- Relative Humidity 68%
- Barometer 30.03(Steady)atm
- Dew Point 78 °
- Visibility 10.00 Miles
- UV Index 4 Moderate
- Wind Speed NNW 6 mph
Y’all. wow. woke up feeling soooo badly i started crying. again. tried keeping it in. how much female-ness must a man endure? didn’t work. he, being the wonderful gorilla he is, tried to fix it/tried to fix me. i didn’t want that. i don’t want that. i just want to be. i just want to cry when i need it. it’s all related to leaving something behind that is dear to me. i don’t want to leave it. i don’t want my daughters to miss out on life even if they are getting a first rate education that i have dreamed of for my whole life. we did make progress. he at least offered that he would not keep them in a new place where they truly weren’t happy. we would wait and see. that’s cool.
anywho, he went to work, a little heavy-hearted, no doubt. i slept in my running clothes. i just needed to be held by something i loved. it ain’t pretty, but it’s the truth. i didn’t get to run yesterday. my day was out of whack, no doubt. so, i knew today would be the day to get back on step. i didn’t see ANYBODY outside except me, a few yard guys and a few contruction dudes working on houses under construction. they all had big hats on! i ran happy. i only had the sounds of my feet and the slish-slosh of my lime FRS on ice bumping around my bottle. i tortured myself a little. i liked it. i did extra loops and ran ran back the same way from whence i came. i turned up the heat about a quarter mile from home. i ran like i wanted and made myself happy doing it. and now? as a reward, i am swigging from the glass bottle, yummy cold san pelligrino WITH gas. i don’t care if the bubbles displace room for more hydration. i’ll just drink more.
daughters are fine. they are resilient little angels. i love them so.
gotta run. interior decorator is coming with floor samples.