My brain hurts, actually, from trying to convert someone near and dear to me. On so many levels, I desire to see the people I love the most feel the peace that dwells in me. I’ve never been happier in life. I’ve never been stronger or ‘surer’ of things. I guess that comes with age…
When I see someone spinning his or her wheels in an obvious dead-end, I just want to grab that person & point him in the right direction.
As Christians, aren’t we supposed to share what we know to be true? If we see someone doing something that puts impediments between himself and salvation, aren’t we supposed to say something?
I can’t express in words the peace that came over me years ago when I finally realized it’s NOT about this world. We live and we die. Our last breath on this earth and then what? What happens in that nano-second after that last breath is expelled? I guess it depends on what we believe. I hope I see Jesus. I hope I see my parents. I hope I get to meet my sister. And my brother.
When my mom died, I was holding her hand. She literally reached up with her other hand as far as her little arm would reach. I know angels were reaching down to her very soul. The feeling I was left with was nothing short of bittersweet. I was so happy she could be reunited with my dad & her parents and her children she lost so many years before, but I was so pained by my own feelings of what life would be like without her sweet, beautiful presence. It felt like this aching ball of blackness right between my stomach and spine. The hardest part was having her leave, physically, with the funeral home people. I knew her spirit was no longer there, but I was so sad about her being someplace like the funeral home where it was dark & lonely.
I don’t know why I have chosen to write this way today. I just feel sad & this is where my mind went. I guess when I feel sad, I still want my momma! Her advice to me, pretty much no matter what, was to put on a little lipstick & get some fresh air. She was always right. She calmed me. Moms are good like that, right?
So, as I type, I look out & see the beautiful, hot, humid, south Louisisana day. I know I’m getting a late start today, but I think I’m going to get out in it. I kind of think I might need a 5K on my treadmill to get me totally over this emotional hump.
Oops…one girl is riding & the other is running…my bad…
Update…got my 5K. It really helped. The comforting monotony (sp?) of my feet padding rhythmically beneath me as I looked out into the yard reminded me that life goes on regardless of what happens between our own two ears. It was comforting to know I could just run, not think. Just enjoy, not decide. Took my girls into the day…visited sister at work, mall, shopping for drapes…I guess, like in marathon training, when we get sidelined, especially emotionally, we just have to pick up where we left off as soon as we can. My endurance training has been a lifesaver.